A Discussion
by KateToast
Summary: Monica, Phoebe, and Joey discuss Ross and Rachel having a baby together, post TOW the Red Sweater. Short one shot.


**Disclaimer**: Friends is definately not mine.

**A/N**: Short, random missing moment I thought of after watching _TOW the Red Sweater_ and typed up while taking a break from writing Prom Makes A Difference.

Monica, Phoebe and Joey discuss the fact that Ross is the father of Rachel's child.

**XXX**

"Hey! My sweater!" Ross exclaimed as he was leaving Monica and Chandler's apartment. He moved forward to grab the red article of clothing off the coffee table. "I've been looking for this thing for like a month!" He smiled at Phoebe, Joey, and Monica, and exited.

"Oh my God!" Monica and Phoebe shouted together in disbelief. They stared at Joey, who was looking off into space dreamily. Suddenly, he also yelled, "Oh my God!", and the three friends stared at each other.

"What-… what just happened here!" Phoebe asked frantically, pointing back and forth from the place where the sweater had just been to the door where Ross had left with it.

"I know as much as you do!" Monica replied, jumping back and forth on her feet.

"I think Ross just took the red sweater the guy Rachel's having a baby with left!" Joey said. "But what does it _mean_?"

"Joey, come on! Rachel is having a baby… with _Ross_!" Monica determined, pausing before the last two words for dramatic affect.

"How! When! Why the _hell_ didn't they tell us!" Phoebe questioned, pacing back and forth in front of the kitchen table.

"Okay, we need to calm down! Everyone just needs to take a deep breath!" Monica instructed, and all three paused and took audible gulps of air. Waiting a second longer, Monica then started, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…"

Joey stood and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Pull yourself together, woman!"

Phoebe shook her head back and forth. "Rachel? And Ross? Having a _baby_ together? I thought they were/were not on a break!"

Monica rubbed her forehead. "How could this have happened?"

Joey sighed. "Well, Mon, when a man and a woman love each other- or, well, in my case, are _attracted_ to each other- they-"

"Joey, I know _that_ part," Monica interrupted with a roll of her eyes. "I just don't understand! Ross and Rachel haven't dated in like, four years! What are they doing sleeping together?"

"Yeah," Phoebe agreed, sitting back down at the table. "Joey, how could you not have realized it was _Ross_ that had been with Rachel that night?"

Joey shrugged. "I don't know! They were already… _you know_, in her room by the time I got home from my own date, and he was gone before I was up in the morning! I'm not her keeper!" he added in defense.

"Didn't you recognize Ross' sweater?"

Joey scrunched up his face in annoyance. "I passed a lot of people on the street on my way home. You can't expect me to remember everything you guys wear every day!"

"What does this all mean?" Monica questioned wearily.

"The _end_ of the _world_," Phoebe responded seriously.

"Oh, God, how is she gonna tell him? I mean, this is _huge_! This _almost_ eclipses my wedding!" Monica said.

"Do you think they're gonna get back together?" Joey asked sadly. "'Cause if they do then Rachel's gonna move out, and then I'm never gonna have _that_ hot a roommate ever again!"

Monica plopped down in the chair across from Joey. "I hadn't even thought of that. How are they going to handle this?"

"It's Ross and Rachel. They'll probably be happy for a while, then fight about it, and then not speak to each other again for a few weeks," Phoebe answered.

"Seriously, guys. Can you even picture Rachel with a baby?"

Joey stared into space. "No," he finally admitted.

"This is going to change the entire dynamic of our group," Phoebe said, her mind elsewhere. "We won't be six single people anymore."

Monica raised an eyebrow. "Uh, hello? Chandler and I just got married."

"No, I know _that_," Phoebe said with a laugh. "But now it's like, Ross and Rachel are going to have a kid together. Two of us are going to be _parents_."

Joey looked scared. "I don't want things to change! It's bad enough these two got married!" he shouted, waving a hand towards Monica. "I don't think I can take anymore!"

"We don't really have a choice," Monica said. "And what if they actually do get back together? What if they get _married_?"

Phoebe shrugged. "Hey, they basically almost were back when they were dating. It'll just be like that… except they'll have a kid and you and Chandler will be married."

"Oh my God, Chandler! He doesn't even know!" Monica realized.

"Well you can't tell him yet!" Phoebe said. "He'll blab!"

"How do you know?"

"Um, excuse me, do you _know_ Chandler?"

Monica considered. "Okay, we'll wait until Rachel's told us."

"How long do you think that'll be?" Joey wondered.

"Who knows," Monica said.

The three sat in companionable silence for a time.

"Ross and Rachel are having a baby," Phoebe finally said, breaking their thoughts.

"Uh, yeah, didn't we figure that out a while ago?" Joey asked, giving her a look.

"No, I mean… a _baby_. Can you believe it? They're going to be parents."

"Ross already is a parent," Monica said.

"Well, yeah, but we don't see Ben that much, do we?" Phoebe asked smugly.

Monica squirmed in her sit, hating to be wrong, even in the slightest. "I… guess not."

"But we're gonna see this kid all the time," Phoebe continued. "I mean, all we all ever do is hang out together, which means this baby is gonna be around a lot."

"I'm gonna be an aunt," Monica said with a small smile. "Again. Oh my God, I'm gonna be my best friend's baby's aunt!"

"Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl?" Joey asked.

"Definitely a girl," Phoebe answered knowingly.

"How do you know?"

"I just know these things, okay? Trust me, it'll be a girl."

"Wow, they're gonna have to pick out a name and baby clothes and a crib and tiny little toys…" Monica said with a wistful sigh.

"They should name it Joey!" Joey proclaimed.

Phoebe glared at him. "Um, hello, I think they'd name it Phoebe, thanks."

"Or maybe they'll pick out a different name?" Monica suggested.

"How do you think they got together?" Phoebe asked, ignoring Monica. "It's so out of the blue, something big _must_ have happened to have them end up sleeping together."

The other two took their time before answering.

"I think there was a big build-up," Monica finally said. "Y'know, maybe they were talking about when they were together or something, and there was one of those long pauses where you just stare at each other… and then it just happened."

"They definitely just _did it_," Joey interjected. He gave Monica a strange look. "Who spends time _talking _and _reminiscing_ before sex!"

Phoebe took a sip from her bottle of water. "I don't know. I think maybe the whole thing involved close proximity, romantic music, a bottle of wine… I mean let's face it: Rachel and Ross aren't exactly the types to get "swept up in the moment" without some sort of outside aide. Well, they may have been when they were together, but they aren't really like that anymore."

"So you're saying they were probably drunk? How romantic of you," Monica deadpanned.

"Eh, Pheebs is right," Joey agreed as he bit into an apple. "They're always fighting about if they were on a break or not."

"No they aren't," Monica said incredulously.

"Yes they are!" Joey defended, then waited a beat before correcting, "Oh, wait, that's _you_ and _Chandler_ about him moving things in the apartment. It's hard to keep track, there's too much fighting all the time!"

Phoebe patted his arm. "It's okay, Joey."

He brushed the moment off as his head perked up at a thought. "Who do you think came on to who?"

"Isn't it _whom_?" Phoebe asked.

"Same difference," Joey said with a wave of his hand.

"That's a tough question," Monica stated, thinking hard. "I don't know… I guess I'd have to say Ross."

"Really?" Phoebe questioned, surprised.

"Yeah," Monica said. "Why? You think Rachel came on to _him_?"

"Well, I don't know. It seems possible."

"Ross _totally_ came on to Rachel," Joey said in a 'duh' tone. "He's the one who hasn't been getting any for six months."

"Whoa!" both women shouted at this revelation.

"Don't tell him I told you so, though," Joey commanded.

"Hey, Mon?"

"Yeah?"

"You do realize we're discussing your brother's sex life, right?"

Monica paused. "Oh, ew! I was so excited I forgot!"

Joey checked the clock absently. "Hey, we've been talking about this for fifteen minutes! That's the longest conversation I've had with anyone since, like, last month!"

"Joey? Didn't you say you had to be at the Days of our Lives set like, almost an hour ago?" Phoebe asked.

Joey stared at her, looked wildly at the clock again, and stood up. He immediately sat back down. At their questioning looks, he said, "I got up too fast."

All three stood this time.

"We can't tell anyone until Rachel tells Ross," Monica said as Phoebe and Joey both headed for the door.

"Not even Chandler?" Joey whined.

"Didn't we already have that discussion?" Phoebe asked. She turned to Monica. "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a thimble in my eye that I won't tell."

Monica looked at her skeptically. "'Stick a thimble in my eye'? Isn't it a needle?"

"Yeah, well, I figure thimbles hurt less than needles," Phoebe explained. "See ya."

"I won't tell," Joey said to Monica. "Not even Hugsie."

"Good to know," Monica nodded, and Joey shut the door behind him.

Monica crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. "Ross and Rachel are having a baby," she murmured to herself. "Who'd-a-thunk-it."

**XXX**

_End._


End file.
